Thursday, January 21, 2010

Insecurity

People assume that I am some cocky, illiterate bitch who thinks that the world orbits her. HAHAHA, fuck outta here. I'm one of those pariahs, who hides in the bathroom when lunch time comes around. Just kidding. I'm an educated female who doesn't accept her body for how the Creator made it. I should be happy, right? I find too many flaws, but I am happy at the fact that all 23 pairs of my chromosomes are present and normal.

I have confidence, but I'm insecure. Haha. Regardless at the contradiction, that's who I am.

I never considered myself as pretty. Why? People look better than me, and I look better than people; monkey in the middle. When I take a gander at my pictures, I don't believe that she's me most of the time. I hardly look at mirrors, at the fact that I am not a girly-girl, and looking at myself makes me reminisce about unnecessary bullshit.

ANYWHO, my friends would usually hear me complain about how I'm gaining weight. It's one of my many obnoxious insecurities. I dislike my: nose, ears, stomach, butt, knees, thighs, legs, feet, and toes.

UH!

Let me tell you this undeniable shit. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try to fix something that is not broken! For example: Bf hates feet, like he literally despise them. My dumbass always look at my feet like there's something wrong with them, but they were fine. One day, I tried to make it 'better', and now there is something wrong with my toe. It's fucking disgusting. It looks like Mr. and Mrs. Alien copulated and laid an egg on it.

I haven't told him. I wonder what the fuck he would do if he finds out. He always tells me that he can't have a girl with nasty feet, or if there's just something wrong with them. I don't know what I'm going to do if that shit doesn't come out. I started crying yesterday, like a dumb bitch, because I was so frustrated. Momma was like, "Haitians are worrying about food, water, and some place to sleep, and you're worrying about your damn toe?" Even if I recognized the fact that I'm more fortunate than others, I resisted to be quiet and kept on whining. Momma said it'll come out eventually. Also, she got lost in some trance; she started ranting on about how when she was little, she had all these shit on her skin, but it eventually came off.

I don't give a fuck, even if it is flying. I'm so mad. If this nasty alien-baby does not disappear in a week or two before Valentines Day, I'm going to a podiatrist and getting that shit aborted. Fuck that.

24 comments:

  1. Everyone is insecure about something because nobody's perfect. As for your toe, you might wanna get it checked out now so that it can be healed by V day, good luck :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. aw this was a nice post. you look gorgeous in that pic ^ but you might wanna get the foot thing checked out because it could get worse if bacteria grows on your feet. good luck with everything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, I was going to add that also, but I just forgot about it. I know that nobody is perfect, but everybody has their own definition of perfection.

    Thanks, ma. YEAHHHH, like, I think I'ma wait another week, and then I'ma drag Momma's ass to come take me. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Everyone has insecurities, but that doesn't mean you should let the whole world know about them. Only you see them as a flaw, but to everyone else, they don't see or notice it. By pointing them out, you'll make others notice them, too.

    Confidence is key, it makes other think that you don't have any flaws. IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Besides, your boobs stands out more than your flaws. haha

    ReplyDelete
  6. I understand what you mean. Everybody is human, and they all have their personal insecurites. These are mine, and IDGAF if the whole world knows it. Let them notice all my disabilities. I'm going to use the reason that this is my blog and I can say what I want. Lol. I have confidence up to certain things. Thank you though, you make a good point.

    Oh geez.

    ReplyDelete
  7. smh.. insecure?
    no reason to
    -Daze-

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am comfortable with my body BUT one thing I do not like is being hairy. I have a hair buttock and hair on the side of my face. But I can wax it I suppose...I am insecure when it comes time to be intimate with my boyfriend, I always feel guys in general will not like me for me b/c of my buttock but I digress...
    Hope you feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  9. *kicks down this bitch to take a seat* hey sneak meekssssssssssssssssssssss!!! <--- oh yeah you've been branded just stop through to say heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmao... nah real shit i think we all feel insecure...at some point in time.. its natural...you're human but truth is.. flaws and all. you're perfectly you :0)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Josh, you know me already. Lol.

    Aww, I understand exactly how you feel. But for Bf, it's like life or death.

    HAHAHAAH, thanks ma. =]

    ReplyDelete
  11. I assume your bf doesn't read your blogs?

    ReplyDelete
  12. He doesn't like reading, first of all. Lol. Nah, but he doesn't have that kind of time to be wasting on the computer. He reads them seldom.

    ReplyDelete
  13. you are a gorgeous girl and I know first hand that it doesn't matter who says it or how many times it said to you, all that really matters is the opinion we have of our self. We are our own worst judge! So I can relate to your post and it's an amazingly great one, I enjoy your blog love, just know that self love is the up most important and that as long as your beauty matches the inside your set ;)

    ReplyDelete
  14. aww mikki, i liked this post.
    we all have out insecurities...
    & you're gorgeous don't let anyone tll you different <3
    I HATE HATE HATE feet also, yucky lol.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you. I need to see the beauty for myself. Bf tells me to realize that fact that I am a looker, but I keep disagreeing.

    Thanks. =] Yeah man, I told him yesterday, and he flipped.

    ReplyDelete
  16. aww you're so cute girl!! :D everyone has their flaws but that what makes you UNIQUE! :D

    EMBRACE IT!

    lol :D

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey Cutie! Hey Beautiful! Hey! (I'm starting to like this better stop)8)
    You are very easy on the eyes! Now you know it! Sorry but you are stuck with it kid. Just gonna have to be beautiful! Better work on your conversation though cause there is nothing worse than talking to a really fine, totally hot Gyrl, with the killa body and finding out that she's a DINOSAUR! (Killa Body, Walnut sized Brain) We need conversation and someone to snuggle with.

    Seriously though. Stop worrying about yourself. YOU are fine! Somewhere, there's a girl who's really mad cause her Man looked at YOU!

    Jaycee

    ReplyDelete
  18. asian pussy is good man

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks, lovely. =]

    Ha, everybody is entitled to their opinions. Thank you for the compliment though. Also, I wonder if you think I have a pea-sized brain. Lol.

    Oh geez.

    ReplyDelete
  20. wonderul post. and i feel the same way msot of the time. but girl you are beautiful regardless! <3

    ReplyDelete
  21. Men dont make you nor does this guy. You are ugly inside if anything if your thoughts are like these.

    ReplyDelete
  22. That picture is GOOOR JUSSSSSS!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Gracias for the input. =P

Follow and Twit me @SNEAkUHbUTT