Monday, July 26, 2010

To whom it may concern:

Dear _____,

One of the few reasons for me not to want to prolong this any longer is the fact that I am too fucking stressed out to deal with bullshit. I would fucking assume that you would be the person to make me feel better, but in actuality, you make me feel like shit. I feel pathetic that you only do shit for me when you feel sorry or emote to some kind sympathy. A person can only take so much. I am a bitch when it comes to this, but I can't help it. I do not like the feeling of vulnerability; you don't neither. You should be the first person to understand why I act like this. Don't tell me to STOP because it'll go in one ear and out the other.

I'm done listening to bullshit promises. They are getting fucking old. You cannot apologize any longer; I will no longer be empathetic. I don't fucking understand why you give false hope. WHY IN THE FUCKING HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT? AND THEN FUCKING APOLOGIZE? Come on. You already know me. Why are you doing this knowing how I would react when you fucking fail me once again? On some real shit, no more. I don't like to fucking play. Emotions are not to be toyed with.

I am not difficult to please. I am materialistic, but I manage to supply my addiction since I have two fucking jobs. I only want memories. I want you to come with me to places where people can see the glisten in my eyes when you smile at me. I want kisses here and there. I want you to hold my hands, look into my eyes, and tell me that you love me. The thing is, I shouldn't have to tell you this, nor even hint it. It's fairly simple, and it doesn't cost a thing. You and I both know that I rarely ask for anything else.

Sometimes I believe that you only love the IDEA of us. You're not genuinely happy. I don't think you are. I don't want to be a filler for your void. I want to be the reason. You say I am, but I don't feel it. I try, but you are hindering me to. Actions speak louder than words is what I tell you all the time.

I have a citadel of hatred, but I still let you in. I keep myself protected because I know what kind of pain and agony it can create. I depended on you, but you have failed me. The monotony of this all just keeps destroying my mind. It's annihilating every ounce of patience I have. I don't know what to do anymore, so I'm writing a letter that I would never send to you. If you read this, that's all on you. I'll listen to whatever you have to say. I'll go along with whatever you want to do. I had investigated every corner of our status, and I assure you that I will be just fine regardless of anything that happens.

P.S.: Look on the bright side, at least you wouldn't have to deal with my bitchings anymore.

With love,

Saturday, July 24, 2010


People are shallow. No human can tell me that they do not judge. It's impossible since it's a natural intuition. Appearance definitely plays a huge role. When I got my hair chopped off, I felt like Samson when he lost all of his strength because that bitch Delilah did him wrong. I'm growing my hair out once again, and will start gauging my ears next week. And no, I am not changing, nor becoming some sort of emo. Lol, that's what one of my friends said. I just want to try new things. You only live once. I don't want to bombard myself with what-ifs.
I love observing people; not in a stalker manner. Lol. I love watching how their reactions affect one another. People feed off of other's energy. I like learning the gamuts of gestures in random interactions. I love noticing reiterations of females' subtle implications of flirting towards the male audiences. I find it fairly hilarious. The people who knows me knows that I don't pay attention to males, nor anybody who likes to stare. At the point that they don't even have the confidence to say anything just amuses me, but they have the nerves to do some eye-fucking cracks me up even more.
Every normal person is born with the sense of common knowledge. It is just that.. not all of us use it; thus, the birth of ignoramuses. They lurk the streets of today's society, and it saddens me that some people can still reach that level of imbecility.

Last thing,
don't waste your brain away.

Until we meet again...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Current Events. (8)

Me, Myself, and I. =]
- for better quality.

I've been working, working, working and working. I won't have a day off until this Tuesday, and the next one is up in the air at the moment. My store manager at Charlotte Russe is starting to despise me... Haha. I don't really give a fuck, at the fact that I'll be making more money than her in a couple of years. She can suck my left tit.

Bf and I have our good ones and bad ones. I yell too much and can't keep my mouth shut. I get mad at petty shits just because they're the most annoying, especially if He does them over and over and over and over again. Evidently, He doesn't like the yelling, so he gets pissed. Two aggravated people are always up to no good. Sometimes, I just don't want to deal with bullshit, but I feel like it'll be all worth it in the end. I don't want to lose Him over something so minute. I just need to handle my rage and bitchiness. AND, the thing that He can improve on is being on time. He's ALWAYS late. That's what gasses up my full-on bitch mode. Ultimately, we love each other and we make each other happy regardless of the dumb shits we put each other through. We both don't know how good we got it. Lol.

I went to the Village a couple of days ago, and I must say that it was pretty awesome.

ALSO, I saw Despicable Me (one of my new favorite movies) and Predators; they were both amazing.

That's about it. And, you know what's funny? I always carry my camera, but seem to not have any photos. Lol. I need to stop being lazy.

But, I haven't slept. Bf and I had some quality time last night, and I had work at 8 am.

Yeah, it's nap time.
Later. =]

Sunday, July 11, 2010



I had went on a little shopping today. I got 2 jackets, 2 sweaters, 2 pairs of pants, a dress, a skirt, and bracelets for exactly $84.02; that is not bad at all, in my opinion at least. I would take pictures, but I'm a little short on time at the moment. A lot has been happening, and this should serve as a little filler.

- for better quality.

Look what I found, literally like a minute and a half ago:
Apparently, these sandals are on clearance because the company had deducted 2 cents from the original price? Lol. SMH.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Take a gander at the fact that I didn't put 'Independence' or '4th of July' because all of these were randomness. Lol. Well, to me at least. I was not planning on doing shit, at all. Haha,

Weekend was bittersweet. Ultimately, it was pretty damn fun. =]

I should've taken pictures and videos of Miriam hugging the toilet bowl while puking in it. HAHAHA.

Anywho, enjoy these shits. =]

Alcohol: $350
Hot Tub: $(I don't know, but it probably cost a lot of money)


- for better quality.

(Via iPhone.)
6 cases of 30 Coors Light.
From left to right: Nuvo, Ciroc, Malibu, 99 Bananas, Smirnoff Watermelon, 99 Oranges, Malibu, 99 Oranges, Vodca Exclusiv, Vodca Exlusiv, Jose Cuervo.
(Via D40.)
Yezrr. =]
My girls! =]

And, all the alcohol was gone by the morning. Lol.

More pics to come, Shay had her camera with her also. I'm waiting for her to send them to me. =]

Saturday, July 3, 2010

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes; I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Here are the other two: Twilight Saga

HOLY SHIZNIT! This could not wait any longer. I just saw the film today, and it was pretty damn good. Not like Johnny-Depp-films good, but enough to anticipate the next film.

By the way, Kristen Stewart needs to talk to her dentist about her buck teeth. She needs to get them filed down; apparently, she can't keep her mouth closed.

I'm not into Bella Swan being such a slut, but I actually liked the movie's entirety. The corniness and the suckiness of the quality in the director's point of view made the movie suitable for everyone to enjoy, if that even made sense.

(Dakota Fanning should not be a vampire.)

Jacob is soooooooooooooo hot-hot-hot-hot, but I'm still Team Edward because at the fact that he loves Bella so much, regardless of her whore-ness. I give him props on withstanding all that hell she had put him through. The shits that she did hurt me all the way over here. If I was Edward, I'd kill the bitch.

P.S.: They definitely need more (good-looking) girls in Forks Town, Washington. SMH.

Anywho, I'll stop talking about it because I don't want to mention anything that might spoil the movie.