Thursday, March 5, 2009

The End of the Road?

I can count how many best friends I have in one hand, and not even including my thumb.
I think I just lost one of my fingers.
(Uhmm, not literal, dumbass; it's an analogy.)

First of all, I'm going to give her a pseudonym. I will call her Esmeralda.

Once upon a time.....
I met this girl; her name is Esmeralda.
A year prior to that, she became one of the people I look forward on seeing everyday. I had a lot of respect for her, and I made her one of my motivations. I promised myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I made her a priority.
I sacrificed my time knowing that she would do the same for me. I did so much shit for her that I would not do for a lot of people. We had a give-and-take relationship; we were equal. Nobody was the follower, nor the leader.
She made me laugh. She knew what to say at the right time. I trusted her to be there for me whenever I needed a hug.
I told her EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. I let myself be vulnerable because I knew I could trust her. She never spoke of anything that was between me and her. Not a lot of girls can keep their mouths shut, so I thought she was priceless. I thought our friendship was priceless.

I planned to be friends with her until we grew old and wrinkly. Shit, it's possible. I thought it was going to be like that, but some shit just threw that thought out of the window. I understand people come and go, but I never thought this was possible.

Recently, she walked out of my life as if I never existed.

This is fucking bullshit. I did not do anything at all. I don't understand why I have to get hurt from shit I never did. I wouldn't be upset if it is my fault, but it isn't.

I don't let a lot of people know me. I don't trust a lot of people neither because all that shit can backfire like a motherfucker. One mistake and ALL of the hidden blunders and such would be out, spreading like wild fire. I been through that typical, girly drama shit; it is fucking monotonous. It's like playing a broken CD.

Anywho, back to my story.
I love Esmeralda, and I thank her for everything she did for me. I still think that she could've tried harder to stay friends with me. Also, there was another variable to this equation: her parents. Her parents think I'm a bad influence to her. Go figure. They were even planning on putting a restraining order on me. The thing that I never understood was they never tried to talk to me, and asked me my side of the story. Hey, I guess parents just don't understand. (Yes, from Will Smith =])

Now, I feel so alienated from her. I can't even talk to her. If I try to explain how I feel, I would either burst out crying, or get into a fight with her.

I still think this bullshit is so fucking gratuitous!
This shit fucking aggravates me.

It'll pass, sooner or later. Right?

I still believe everything happens for a reason. And there better be a good fucking reason why this shit happened. I do hope that Esmeralda and I could be best friends again, like we used to be, in the near future.

Esmeralda, I miss you.


  1. Yo sry to hear dat...ugh I hope ya bak together cuz ya gud together...hate to c dat break

  2. yeah :( sorry to hear that.

    but, as a little side note, SHE spells her name the same way as me :) tots cool :)


Gracias for the input. =P

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