I've been feeling down. I'm about to pull a Britney-Spears; you know, take my anger out on my hair. I just realized that I will NEVER be somebody's top priority. When I was little, I was my momma's numero uno. I took that for granted. I didn't know that she was going to bear another child. And, EW! to the thought of conception. BUT SHIT, FUCKKK. I'm not trying to be selfish, but realizing that kind of added stress to the situations that I'm in. Why is it so hard to let go of some things in life? I wonder why I can't be how I used to be. I kind of liked being my own person. I love to be oblivious. I love being in my own lala-land and enjoying things in life. I didn't give a fuck who laughed, and I sure as hell didn't give a fuck who cried. Where did I go? I don't feel like myself. I lost it.
I'm disintegrating, bits by bits.