¡Numero Uno!

I feel alone, like no one cares. I mean, I do ostracize myself at times, but this is something different. I'm having that dust-in-the-wind moment. It sucks. Also, I tend to get defensive when I achieve the feeling of negligence, especially from a person whom I put on a pedestal. I know damn well that everybody feels good about themselves when they get prioritize to the top. I need want to be Number One, excluding from my family of course. I know that I'll always be on the top when it comes to my fams, even at the fact that I've put them through nonsensical bullshit.

I want to be important to someone,

and in their life.

I want to be included.

Not filling the void of someone's loneliness,

but being the reason for their happiness.

Hmmm, I don't know why I always think that something is missing. I have everything, not everything I want, but more than enough for adequate living. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my life, but I wonder if there is something wrong with me.

I'm not depressed, nor am I asking for sympathy or pity. I blame my pituitary gland. Anywho, moving on to my inessential tirade of random bitching… Every good has a bad, and I clearly understand and agree. I do know that life is not a fairy tale; not every story has a happy ending.

I just think that I deserve a little more.

Shit, not fair?

Eh, life isn't either.