Green Monster.

It's in a person's nature to be jealous or envious. Yeah. I tend to not get jealous from people's looks. I'm content with what I look. Possession wise, it depends. There are a lot of things people can possess, and a lot of them are not in physical matter. I don't remember the last time my happiness prolonged. Everything was and is just ephemeral. All the smiles, all the laughters were and are transitory.

I'm so jealous of the youngins. I want my youth back where I was just carefree. I just went with the flow on everything. Nobody seemed to judge me at anything because it was all blamed on the age. Oh man, I'm going to find the Fountain of Youth. Lol. One day, just like Tuck Everlasting.

I've been from nothing, to something. I know how it feels to want something that you cannot have. From birth until now, my parents try to provide everything and anything to make me happy. Even with not a piso in their pocket, they somehow made a lot of things happen. Life in the Philippines was tough. Soon, I will write a book about it. =] Just wait.

Anywho, I was perusing through this website, and I saw that one of my childhood classmate/friend from the Philippines just got to L. A. Wow. Crazy, right? I wish I was in her position. Why? It was a restart from everything. Walking in into a new country, into a new zip code, surrounded by strangers is a feeling I want to have. I am jealous of her because of this. I want to reboot my system. Start fresh, you know? I want to breathe.

I want the feeling of not knowing anybody. I just want to go somewhere where nobody knows anything about me: Mikki in Wonderland. =P Yes! To achieve that type of cluelessness would just put the icing on my utopia.

Yes, there are a lot of downside to it. It's hard to start over. I know. I lived 11 years of my life in the Philippines before I moved to Jersey, and been to 5 different schools. It's hard not to have anybody to talk to, especially through puberty. HAHA.

Jealousy in relationships is another world filled with pain, and all the drama shit. Lol. It is in human nature to be desirous. I don't believe people when they say that they're not the jealous type. That's another post waiting to happen.

To be continued...